


Darlin You Can Chain Me To The Wall

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 25 Days of Ficmas [5]
Category: Everybody Else (Band), Hanson (Band)
Genre: 25 Days of Fic-mas, Alcohol, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Canon Compliant, Consensual Infidelity, Crushes, F/M, M/M, Marijuana, Married Couple, Married Life, NaNoWriMo 2017, Pining, The Walk Era, Tour Bus, Touring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 01:21:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12924285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Zac thinks his crush on Carrick is a secret but maybe it isn't.





	Darlin You Can Chain Me To The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 of 25  
> Prompt: Exposed

Zac smirked as he looked over at Carrick as they sat in the back of the bus sharing a joint. The last days of tour quickly approaching which he didn't like because he didn't want to say goodbye to Carrick.

Didn't want the man he maybe loved going off to California and him having to go back to Oklahoma.

Yet Zac, of course, would never tell Carrick that he may have loved him. He wasn't gay after all and that was why whatever he felt for Carrick confused him.

He felt that every time someone looked at them together that every secret he had about how he was feeling was being exposed. That somehow people just looking at them could tell Zac was having his very first man crush, which was causing an internal dilemma inside of him.

It was making him question everything including how he felt for his wife Kate, a woman he still thought he loved, a woman who was asleep in a bunk just mere feet from the room he and Carrick were in.

If she knew he was smoking she wouldn't like it. She'd be giving him an earful, but what she didn't know couldn't hurt her could it?

"Earth to Zac," Carrick laughed and Zac blinked as he came out of whatever spell he had been under. He blushed as he saw Carrick handing the joint to him.

Taking the joint from his friend’s hand, Zac couldn't help but shiver as their fingers brushed just slightly. He wondered if Carrick felt the electricity between them as well as Zac did or if everything was just in Zac's head because of how he felt.

"You check out on me again buddy?" Carrick asked like it was nothing and maybe he hadn't felt it all.

Maybe it was just Zac.

Zac nodded his head sheepishly as he took a hit from the joint before passing it to Carrick. "Just thinking about how tour is ending soon," he confessed softly not even sure Carrick heard him.

But the way a shit eating grin appeared on Carrick's lips after, Zac knew he had heard him.

"You going to miss me when it's all done Zac?" he asked and Zac blushed again as he felt exposed by Carrick's question, feeling as if somehow Carrick had read his mind.

Maybe Carrick now knew Zac felt he was in love or maybe lust with him.

There was no way it was love even if he called it that. If it was love, then what did that mean for the love he thought he had with Kate?

"Oh you know it," Zac answered back sarcastically. "I mean who am I going to share joints with at three in the morning?" he asked as he handed the joint back to Carrick.

Their fingers brushing again which again made Zac shiver. His body moving closer to the other man's against his will.

"You okay there Zac?" Carrick questioned as he finished off the joint and Zac swallowed hard realizing that Carrick must have noticed him shivering.

Maybe he realized how much everything was affecting Zac which made Zac wonder if he knew or suspected how he felt. That Carrick wasn't so oblivious at all to Zac's feelings like he hoped or wanted him to be.

Nodding Zac chose to lie, "I'm fine," he spoke as his voice sounded weak and he knew Carrick would see through his words.

Something that was confirmed when Carrick raised his eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

"No," Zac stated before he could stop himself and once he said that Carrick's eyebrow shot higher up and Zac felt even more exposed now. He had semi exposed himself without even really meaning to and he knew now that he'd have to talk.

He'd have to tell Carrick what he meant whether he wanted to or not.

"What's wrong then?" Carrick asked as he moved closer to Zac. Close enough that their thighs were touching and Zac felt butterflies or something close to it in his stomach.

Sighing Zac looked away from Carrick as he thought of the best way to answer that. How to tell him that he was the problem, and maybe that was the best way to do it.

Just say it like that.

"You," Zac spoke almost in a whisper. "You're my problem."

Carrick laughed softly as one of his hands went to rest on Zac's thigh and the butterflies in Zac's stomach got even worse. "How am I the problem?" he asked sounding confused but when Zac turned to look at him again he saw the smirk on his face and Zac knew Carrick knew.

Carrick just wanted Zac to say what was wrong out loud instead of saying it himself. That fucking bastard.

Yet Zac still adored him, still wanted to kiss his adorable lips.

"Because I have a silly crush on you," Zac admitted as he looked away from Carrick again because despite the smirk Carrick had seconds ago Zac was afraid of what his reaction would be to this news.

"Is this your way of telling me that you are bi?" Carrick questioned and Zac almost wanted to laugh because he really didn't know what his sexuality was.

He wasn't sure if he was gay or bisexual. He just knew he thought he still loved Kate as well as having confusing feelings for Carrick.

Shaking his head Zac looked back at Carrick, "This is me saying I have a crush. I don't know what my sexuality is because I think I still love my wife. But I also have feelings for you and maybe this is a pathetic stance, but it's where I'm at right now."

"It's not pathetic," Carrick reassured him as he moved his hand higher on Zac's thigh. Zac swallowing hard as he felt himself getting turned on. "But maybe we should distance ourselves from each other. I mean until you know things."

"And what if I never know things?" Zac asked him not wanting to lose his friendship with Carrick. "I don't want to lose you because of my stupid feelings."

Carrick sighed, "Then we won't distance ourselves," he said and his words put Zac at ease. "You'll just forever be confused," he laughed as he stood from the couch they were both sitting on. "Sucks to be you then I guess," he teased and Zac fake glared.

Not moving from where he sat as he watched Carrick leave the backroom and after Carrick was gone he looked down at his half hard cock.

He did his best to wish it away because he knew he couldn't get off back here right now. Not with his wife and now Carrick just on the other side of the door. He was afraid one or both would hear somehow, and how would he explain himself in the end?

*****

Days later Zac frowned as he sat backstage after the last show. While nursing a beer in his hand, he did his best not to think about the fact that tomorrow morning he would be heading back to Oklahoma with his wife and child while Carrick headed to California.

Tonight would be the last few hours he'd spend with Carrick for who knows how long? Forever maybe because sometimes life just happened and they lost contact with their opening acts, no matter how long they had known them.

Just, Zac didn't want that to happen with Carrick yet. He was fearful it would and so he had been moody all day. Everyone had seen it including his wife who had stormed off to the tour bus right before the concert started.

He suspected it’s where she still was. Probably on the phone with her mom because god could she talk to Becky for days when she was pissed at Zac.

The moment he felt someone sit down beside him though Zac was brought out of his head. Surprised to find Kate was the one beside him.

"Figured you'd be on the bus still," Zac spoke as Kate looked over at him.

"Nat said she'd watch Shep so I could join the mini party inside," Kate told him her voice distant which meant she was still upset from earlier, not that Zac could blame her. "I'm not at all surprised to see you sitting here sulking."

Laughing a bittersweet laugh, Zac took a long drink from the beer in his hand. "Me sulk? Never," he retorted sarcastically knowing he was walking a thin line with Kate but he didn't seem to care.

Didn't seem to worry that he'd pay later because with Kate he always did. She always held onto things until she felt it was the right moment to strike.

It was something he oddly loved about her. That she was so feisty because it usually lead to some really good make up sex in the end.

"But you have been all day," Kate shrugged as she sat back against the couch. "I'm not even going to pretend I'm stupid and like I don't know why. I know it's because you're leaving Carrick," she told him. Her words making his heart stop because could it be possible she knew?

Did his wife know that he may have an attraction to another man?

"This has nothing to do with Carrick," Zac finally spoke figuring a lie was best.

Kate scoffed as she crossed her arms, "I'm not stupid Zac," she muttered out and just the way she spoke, Zac knew that she knew. "I have eyes and I can see. You care for Carrick. Maybe more than you should, but you do," she said with a nod and Zac raised an eyebrow.

He was surprised at how okay his wife seemed with this. More okay than he had expected from her.

"And you're okay with this?" Zac questioned her as he just took another drink from his beer. Knowing he needed that drink.

Especially if he was going to have this conversation with his wife.

"I have to be don't I?" Kate asked answering with a question of her own. "You're my husband and I love you. That means all of you even the part that cares for Carrick."

Zac just looked at Kate for what felt like forever. Feeling like everything and nothing had changed between them.

"So what do I do then?" Zac asked her wondering if she had some wisdom that could help him. She was always the smart one when it came to them.

Kate only smirked as she stood from the couch, holding her hand out to Zac. A hand which Zac took as he stood up from the couch too.

"You go and talk to him," she muttered as she lead the way over to where Carrick was. "Who knows maybe you can even get a chance to spend the night in his hotel room tonight, giving me all the details about it tomorrow," she whispered.

Zac swallowing hard because surely this wasn't his Kate. Someone had replaced her or something yet he knew they hadn't.

This was his wife and she was okay with him indulging his gay desires for Carrick. Even if it meant him cheating on her.

Zac realized then that maybe he loved his wife just a bit more for this. Was glad he had married her and not anyone else because he wasn't sure anyone else would be so okay with this.


End file.
